How would you like to be read?
A friend asked me a simple question and it inspired me to (try) and let go of perfectionism
Hi
Hi.
This is really scary. Scary because it is something entirely new and outside of my comfort zone. I’ve been posting to instagram regularly for at least 5-6 years now, yet I would never openly admit to you that I enjoy divulging you in my day to day life for no reason other than… to share. I have always loved sharing, loved being extroverted, as long as it was from a safe place - which has been either my inner circle or on instagram to my humble couple hundred followers.
But lately I’ve been second-guessing every time I hit the share button on the app, sometimes going as far as uploading and then deleting a post again. It just doesn’t sit right with me anymore posting stories (memories, opinions, things that inspire me) and these moments expiring hours later, not to mention spamming everyones feed.
It was a kind of special but rainy Saturday afternoon when I found myself with my friends S. and F. sitting outside what I can only describe as a cool Mitte café, sipping on an oat cappuccino, sharing a cigarette between us, that we got onto the topic of productivity, and subsequently to my lack of. I, personally, have been trying to put together a portfolio of my professional architecture work as well as my uni work for YEARS now and I have never gotten further than the fucking cover page. Why? Perfectionism, imposter syndrome and general “I don’t know how the fuck to do this” has stifled me. It wasn’t until I talked to F. (who happened to be a portfolio consultant in a past life) asked me to look at the process differently.
“How would you like to be read?”
“How can you put a body of work together, where you - as a person, as a creative - shines through”
Turns out I’d been going at this entirely wrong, I’d looked at what other people had been doing and tried to copy a certain formula. I’d been breaking my head trying to figure out how to please the eyes of a potential future employer without once asking myself: “How would I like to be read?”
I’m starting to feel the same way about how I share about my personal, creative, and professional life on social media. I have been sharing highlights, sometimes lowlights (as my friend K. used to ask before she went to sleep: “Gimme your highlight, lowlight and one thing you learned today”) for years now. I regularly share my opinions, things that interest me, my craft but mostly I try and give insights to what life is like as a teenage single mother. The personal is political after all.
I’d like to try out an alternative to Instagram, one where I can still share the beautiful moments, my art, my lived experience as a single mother and all the in between - so for the couple people (hi mum and dad) reading this - welcome to (fuck I don’t have a name yet) - a somewhat regular newsletter compiled of my Highlights, Lowlights, Things I’ve learned and Things I’ve created. I hope you stay with me while I figure this thing out :)
Wonderful to see this! I'm stuck in that very same thing (and I also see it most clearly in how I behave - or not - on Instagram). Go Claire!
I am about to launch a website and had to write a blog post. I hummed and harred for an entire day looking at other posts and not getting anywhere. In the end I wrote something short - it’s the first post after all and I will take on your friend’s advice - ‘How would I like to be read’. Thanks for that.